My weight has reached an all time high since I don't know when. I really don't know what to do. I wish this would all just go away on its own. I feel beyond disgusting. It seems so easy... it should be easy. I have been so  depressed lately Its like I've completely let myself go. Every dream I had has been based around some sort of perfection, now I have no hope. All my aspirations to become an actress, a model, a dancer, a graceful ballerina have been demolished. Squashed like a tiny little ladybug by pounds of useless fat, stretch marks, lose skin hanging off this cage they call "my body" and a complete lack of self control. Of course there's a light at the end of the tunnel, its just way too dark in here to see it.

☼ Happy Earth Day!!! ☼

Happy Earth Day everyone! Anyone doing anything special for mother earth today? Change a light bulb plant a garden save a tree reuse, reduce, recycle,! I've always been passionate about the earth. I grew up loving nature =) haven't been so successful yet but in honor of our beautiful blue planet I'm vowing to go completely vegan for a week ;) it would be easier if I bought my own groceries but I know I can do it again. Go green and stay beautiful ♥

I had a pretty good day today. Just chilled at home and got to walk and catch up with a good friend =) it surprises me how much we have in common and we had no idea until today! Not sure what to write at the moment but I thought I might as well since I haven't been on in a few days. Total page views went up so that was an extra bonus to see more people have looked at my blog :) ending on a good note is always a plus.

Not a good day...

This may have been one of the worst days I've had in a while. I can't believe how much I ate today ): I feel so fat and disgusting. Why did I let this happen? I don't know what to do. I've talked to several different people about it and they all say I'm wrong for trying so hard. Maybe that's why I practically gave up on myself today. Haven't finished working out yet so I'll have to do that tonight. Just wish they would hear me when I tell them how bad I want this. I'm going to work on improving my pages. Hopefully I can get my mind off things for a little while....

Day 3

Just worked out for an hour and did some more ab work. So glad I did. Now what to do with the rest of my day... I'm not exactly sure how this is going to go, I think I'll just stay on the computer for the rest of my free time, maybe work on crafts. I'm feeling so boring today, I don't know what it is. Maybe just an off day for me, who knows? I think I'm going to add a page or at least update a few of my pages to make things a bit more interesting. If only I had photoshop I could create a before-and-after picture to keep myself motivated. Always helps knowing theres something good in your future. =)

So this is my first post... I can't believe its taken me this long to create a blog. And, of course, my sister comes and reads it out loud for the whole house to hear -_- ugh so much for privacy.


Anyways I started off the day by bingeing on Easter candy. Ikr? Yikes... skipped breakfast so i wouldn't feel sooooo terrible. Had a smoothie and some crackers for lunch (purged). Did some ab exercises (100) and jogged for about 30 mins. Felt pretty good. I'm skipping dinner tonight so I'm probably going to bed early.


Found the scale my mom hid a little while ago and she's letting me keep it in the bathroom as long as I don't weigh myself more than once a day. I'm just glad to have it back. Weighed in at 166. I wrote on myself to cheer up. Felt kinda good to have happy thoughts on me. Not a bad day =)